uleblog2

Birthday Mama

2011-09-21T23:01:00.000+08:00

Mama & Me circa 1974

Today is my mother's ##th birthday. (secret numbers teehee)

Happy birthday to the woman who made my life possible. One of my life's Constants.

Steadfast, loving, strong, shoe-loving, --with a faulty lipstick choice I need to correct once in a while. She believes in presenting oneself in the best possible way to the public. (She tried teaching us this quality, but...well, sometimes, we need to fail. Sorry, Ma.)

Like a lot of things in her life, she's overachieving very nicely at recovering from a massive stroke. [That was a day that God proved He is watching over her. True story for another post.]

To me, she's larger than life. I was intimidated by the knowledge of being unable to measure up to her as a mother. But I got over it. Because she did not breastfeed us.

Figured Amy Tan didn't write her books about Chinese moms if she didn't have mommy hangups. Everyone's got some, so get over it. I did.

So Happy Birthday to my mother, Suat Pin Tan Khu. The love of my father's life. The rock of mine. May you continue to be blessed and continue to make a difference in this world. You make me proud to be your daughter. I only wish I could stop hearing you in my head telling me to push a little harder so I can be the best. Maybe i don't always listen, because I know you'll take me anyway.

I love you. I'm trying to be the best Olivia I can be.

Friday Night Hand Dance

2011-08-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Post&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>
happy weekend everyone!
We No Speak Americano ft. Cleary and Harding

banner booboo

2011-08-12T01:13:00.000+08:00

eeyikes! accidentally erased the banner. so an impromptu banner is in place.

maybe it's a sign. should maybe change the whole look layout etc.

maybe it's time for uleblog3. oh dear...wordpress? anyone? ek.

mallrateria

2011-08-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

"sale" is a four letter word.

on my way to work today, i recieved an sms as the train pulled into shaw blvd. station.
"wala muna ngayon for wansa."
it's from my supervisor, kuya tadi. i've been advised that i had no schedule for the day.

*ting*

i literally hopped up and ran out the beeping-closing mrt doors.

a free afternoon. :) it's a no brainer--i'm gonna be a mall rat for a couple of hours.

i attacked the sale racks for the first 30 minutes. i felt bad for the dresses-- they looked molested after i tried them on.

taking my friend's advice given last monday (after a similar incident @ another store,) i decided to try on shoes.

i now get why women looove shoes. it's because shoes don't judge you. they don't make fun of your body. they don't tell you your 40 year old post duo baby belly looks like it's still hoarding a secret baby that refuses to be born.

on the upside, you're too annoyed at how much fun these mirrors are having at your expense that you don't really want to buy any clothes. so yes, semi-permanent resident post baby belly saves you money that way.

shoes lift up your heels and make you feel powerful, sexy and pretty. from the knee down. just remember to shave your legs.

so yes--women + shoes. i succumbed to this formula...so readily, and so willingly.

so, i got me a pair of...

wait for it...

running shoes.

long term planning. ta-dah.

fight the frump.

purse carrying man

2011-08-07T14:04:00.004+08:00

whipped

girls! young and old! NEVER make your man carry your purse! it's disrespectful insomanylevels!!
if you are with some sap of a man you seriously don't think much of, there is no need for you to publicly humiliate and emasculate the poor bast*rd by making him carry YOUR purse.

yes, your purse. the one that contains your girlstuff.

your purse is part of your outfit--an accessory. and your man, should you choose him to be, is eye/arm candy. do not confuse or entangle the two.

if your purse/handbag is too heavy to carry, take out whatever crap you don't really need and leave it at home. or don't bother bringing a purse/handbag.

and if he's got his own murse... well, just see that it matches what he's wearing. that's another topic for another day.

little black dress--mamazon style

2011-08-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

~~little~~ black dress by alexander mcqueen

LBD--the little black dress is arguably the one piece of garment that every respectable woman must have in her wardrobe. simple, classic, elegant. a timeless piece. epitome of chic. etc. etc.--you get the picture.

so yes, i am in search of this mystical piece of clothing that will grant me the ability to transform myself from mamazon to glamazon. 4 months after delivering my 2nd babygirl *silly lovesick smile* , i was a uber-rubenesque version of my once size-4 beach bunny frame.

now, 6 months later---

still.

gutty.

i should take cmfort from the fact that the politically correct lbd gets bigger as the wearer ages. now @ 40...my lbd becomes just bd. black dress--bd...or just black dress?? jbd.

whatever. i'll call it the Badass Black Dress. BBD it is. still in denial---treadmill, here comes the mamazon!

shred of delight

2011-04-22T21:29:00.003+08:00

hi there shredder... you are my favorite toy today.

shredding paper is a therapeutic thing. if you have some anger and/or issues, you can work through them by using a paper shredder. shred photos, paper, old documents, etc.

but if you are anger-free and just want to do some serious spring cleaning, and maybe indulge the little imp inside you who loves to destroy things...ohhhh...shredding paper can really make you feel happy and all tingly inside.

*sigh*

mommyfied

2011-04-18T23:40:00.013+08:00

audrey arranging shoes...(her)dolly's, ainsley's, audrey's

"are you ready for another one?" my husband asked me almost a year ago. we had just gotten good news; we were pregnant.

the answer was obvious: "yes, i'm ready to fall in love with another child with you again."

becoming a mom is a role one grows into. initially, you might think you're ready, but nothing really prepares you for the ride called motherhood.

with our 2nd baby... cocky as hell and feeling like a veteran-- i went for the first ultrasound alone, not expecting that when i saw my LO's tiny heartbeat, i'd cry. just like the first time with the first baby.

love @ 1st sight.

again. *sigh*

i've been a stay-at-home mom for most of the last 6 months. imagine that.

after the holy week, i'll be going back to work. hope audrey will still run to mommy laughing and giggling for a "yab-yab" (love-love, which means hug, in audreyspeak.) and ailsley will still wave her little arms at mommy to lift her up after lunch.

i'm used to being audrey's mom, but being ainsley's mom--i'm still getting the hang of. she's different from her sister in many ways. but both are sweet babies, touchy in their own ways but generally easy and happy.

who knew momdom is the bomb? hahaha.

40

2011-04-15T07:12:00.012+08:00

WD-40 wonderful diva @ 40

today i turn 40. i don't feel different since my last post.
older? maybe.
wiser? ummm, not by much.
happier? definitely!

3 goals were set last year. supposedly before i turn 40.

join my first 10k via pasig run on 10.10.10.
have another baby.
learn to bake a pie.

let's see...what happened since then?... 10k and baking a pie never happened. but #2 did! (ta-dah!)
training for pasig run made my body an easy host for a baby, so i got pregnant. :) carrying our second child made it impossible to keep training. it was a rough pregnancy with more bed rests than i liked. riding the tide of this physical drama was gdm. so no pie either! these 3 goals were so related, you see...

this year, here are my goals:

get a driver's license
learn to make chocolate truffles
join the pasig run this year!

*waving pompoms and chanting "go olive!"*

turning 40 has taught me:

never to take anything or anyone for granted. like this blog...heehee
be cool no matter what
be kind and stop being a bitch
god listens. all. the. time.
love is easy. it is a default emotion we are all born with.

long term life lesson i have to learn--to forgive. never could figure this out. (seriously...why get mad if you're going to forgive anyway?) :P

so far the last 40 years were fun. interesting, and most of the time--funny. the next forty? let's find out. ;)

VD (Vampire Diaries)

2010-03-20T21:30:00.002+08:00

An editor once told me never to work in a film unwilling to buy good music. Yes, all the best sound design and scoring can only be noticed on the second viewing of a story. Except when it replaces dialogue.

The latter is true for the series VD. Compelling music swap casually with dialogue. Very unlike its juvenile (young adult, if you must) counterpart, Twilight Saga. Characters are three dimensional despite their clichéd personas.

My initial three word review:
“Buffy meets 90210.”

My updated three word review:
“Everybody loves Damon.”

the gall

2010-02-26T18:25:00.013+08:00

goodbye, rocky and yucky. i will soooo not miss you.

(trying to make it less gross by posing tiny mr.bean bear next to it)

last saturday, 20th february was supposedly just another weekend of errands consisting of
1 ocular inspection with lunch @ discovery suites
2 a quick stop to get baby's toddler pillow
3 a grocery run
4 baby vitamins
5 and find a shirt for jerome's hermoso clan reunion.

somehow, we got the first 2 done, and all the rest took a backseat as i was rushed to medical city's e.r.

it was the 3rd time in 3 months for me to see the inside of the e.r. this time, the pain was so intense that i was literally crying. it was more painful than giving birth to audrey (yes, yes, i had an epidural then.)

the ultrasound showed a pair of gall stones the size of small olives. one of them was blocking the neck of my gall bladder.

all the rest was a blur. laparoscopic cholescystectomy it is. on monday. no food till after. painkillers. oh god bless painkillers.

maxicare doctors took out my gall bladder along with the stones.

these things seem to affect 4f's:
Female
Forty
Fat
Farts a lot

hahahaha not even funny. grrrowl.

the stones are totally disgusting specimens if you ask me. they literally are stones. they are not smooth ones, they look like warty, rough things.

ew.

so glad they are gone from my body. good riddance.

Seeing Avatar

2010-01-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

To start off our 2010’s joint moviegoing career, my husband and I decided to see AVATAR. Yes, it deserves all caps…the amount of work that went into computer generated imagery will move you.

My initial 3 word review immediately after the film (yes, I call it FILM):
Daym! Blink. Breathe.

My morning after 3 word review:
Dances with wolves.

My latest 3 word review:
Pocahontas on acid.

Overall—I still find it to be one of the best films I have ever seen in a long time. Mabuhay ka, James Cameron… I hope your peers will get over their resentment over your success and hand you your next Oscar. And congratulations for winning those globes.

2010

2010-01-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

Chances by Five for Fighting
Totally unrelated to topic, but i like it. ;P

Happy New Year! I started my year unlike every other... this year, my annual goals list has been streamlined to one single minded objective: Bring Sexy Back.

Bring SEXY back to work, home, and all aspects of life. Basically, be inspired, be creative, be fun, be fabulous, and finally…just BE.

Now say this with me: 2010 is the year of the sexy.

Hahahhahahappy new year!

new mooning

2009-11-30T15:23:00.003+08:00

eddie manny: uncanny...

i'd most likely end up watching new moon later. unless 2012 is still showing. in which case...ta-dah! exciting sfx. ya, i know im such a geek. heheheh.

Weeds and the Uni

2009-11-26T22:19:00.002+08:00

anyone who has seen weeds either love andy or celia. depending on which season. this season for me, it's andy.

now he has his own university, the university of andy. *click here* love him. now!

random 5

2009-11-05T23:59:00.014+08:00

5 random non-baby-related things that keep me busy these days:

1. relaxed gymtime.
not as manic as before, but hoping to resculpt me. inspiration: gabby reece (lol...doingk!)

2. plants versus zombies.
popcap game. omg. i am so hooked. talk about being useless.

3. fringe & dexter.
seriously...more about these later.

4. facebook.
need i say more?

5. motion graphics.

my new love...i love to look @ people's showreels such as this one below. inspiration, please...

postcards from my fraggle rock

2009-10-21T14:19:00.002+08:00

As a typical child of the 70’s and 80’s, I consider Jim Henson to be one of the most important figures of my childhood. We are a generation that grew up watching the Holy Trinity of Henson TV: Sesame Street, Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock.

Sesame Street introduced the beauty of stop motion animation to me. Muppet Show showed me the allure of being behind the scenes. Fraggle Rock bred an awareness and fascination for the existence of perspectives different from mine.

My favorite character is Red, she’s a very cool chick, but Uncle Traveling Matt *click here for his blog* turns out to have the deepest impact on me. He traveled the outer space and sent postcards to the store outside Fraggle Rock. An adventurer. Imagine that.

I started collecting postcards sometime in the mid-90’s. This was a direct tribute to Uncle Traveling Matt, and just traveling in general.

With postcards, I don’t mean e-cards. I mean physical ones.

I have a whole stack of them. I love receiving a postcard and reading the usual short little anecdote written on them. It’s like a photograph or video of the sender, and where the sender was, what the sender saw…only more intimate.

I love the lack of self-consciousness a relaxing holiday brings. All of these elements come together preserved and beautiful in its author’s hurry, written (by hand!) by a blessed soul whose senses have just been enriched by new experiences.

Two of my recent favorites are: the one from Nelz you see above, and one of Dennis’(an old flatmate) from Mallorca.

They both ran around Europe a couple of months back, and from many of their destinations, they mailed a postcard for me. I could trace their routes ona map if I so please from the dates on their postcards. It’s like being in a movie…*musical scoring goes here*

That rocks.

All together now: Eyelavettootheworld!

typhoon weekend

2009-10-05T22:17:00.003+08:00

On the last Saturday of last month, oblivious to Ondoy, we followed Audrey’s schedule for her next round of shots. We made our monthly trip to Asian Hospital in Alabang that morning @ 10.

When we got to Magallanes, Jerome and I looked at each other, shrugged, and continued driving into Slex. We took a chance and gambled, braving the “crazy monsoon rain” pelting against Bertha, the old station wagon.

Turns out it was a good decision. Magallanes was one of the places submerged in man-height-deep water. We would’ve been trapped there, had we decided to turn back…flashflood and all.

Bertha is an automatic Volvo, courageously negotiating through a significant amount of thigh high water along SLEX.

Our hearts froze when the car stalled in a pool of knee deep muddy water about 20 meters from the toll gate entering Alabang. We had Audrey with the Yayas at the back, and the rain was remorseless. With a stubborn repetitive “Nonononononoo…” from me, Jerome was able to make faithful Bertha start again.

We knew there was no question of us driving back to Mandaluyong. Fuggedabuddit…We checked into the Condotel beside Asian Hospital. We called our families, made sure everyone’s fine and secure, as we tucked in for the night.

That night, we watched in horror at the devastation Ondoy wreaked.

Some of my coworkers lost pets, cars, another lost parts of his home. But many, remembered the most important thing: those are just things, and gave thanks for their and their family’s safety.

Out of the destruction made by Ondoy, rose heroes. The quick, resolute way many people extended help gives us hope. The Filipino is still innately kind and compassionate. NGO’s and Volunteers quickly got organized.

Nobody pays the government agencies any mind. Everyone just dismisses them as a bunch of…people from the government. Not as effective. Sad, really.

For info on how to help, click here
For donations via paypal, smartmoney and gcash click here
To make donations to abs-cbn foundation, click here

baptism

2009-09-24T21:57:00.004+08:00

my little girl was recently baptised (catholic--as promised to my husband). she's such a trooper, crying very little, even when you could see she was frightened. she wore her gown for a total of 10 minutes.

think she got stressed out... and got sick as predicted, thank god she is well now. her cough coincided with a growth spurt--so she has been gaining weight even as she looks (a little) skinnier, and somewhat taller.

she's beginning to show some personality too--showing an open-mouthed, toothless hollywood smile before she "serenades" us each morning with her "song".

okay, i probably am starting to sound like a boring nightmare mom. LOL.

maternal

2009-09-05T14:18:00.001+08:00

5 hours of pumping--to produce half an ounce.

i set aside a whole box of breastpumps to return, to keep and to toss out (broken). it brought me back to the time i felt the pressure of wanting desperately to produce enough milk for my baby. i hated that i could not make my body do this.

i hated that i did not prepare for this. i thought the whole time during my pregnancy, that i would not have milk, as i would be fighting biology.

i am chinese. every chinese woman/mother that i asked either did not have milk or did not bother. i figured my race is just superlatively and biologically NONMATERNAL. we hire filipinos to care for our young. we do not produce milk. then we just overcompenste when the child is all grown up by going all joy luck club on them. amen.

hopefully, i would be the exception. there are certain things i still have control over.

Blessings (3rd of a series, Maid in the Philippines)

2009-08-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

Nannymania, one of my favorite games, real life is not so different.

We did damage control on the Yaya. We saved her, reestablished relations, and conditions. My attitude adjusted as I started to relax. She became happier, and me? I was no longer a nazi.

Right now, our maid is from Cebu. Also in a 1-year contract, She is referred by my friend’s family help of 40 years.

The yaya and the maid get along pretty well. I thank God everyday for the two. They both care for Audrey and our home really well.

Both seem kind hearted enough and fond of my daughter. They show my baby her mobiles “Look Bibi Ooh-dree…tiddi Ber…”

As a friend put it, if we are looking for the ideal domestic help, they are also looking for the ideal employers.

The Dementor & the Mercenary (2nd of a series, Maid In The Philippines)

2009-08-25T18:46:00.002+08:00

Dealing with domestic help really tries your patience. It literally makes you laugh, cry, roll your eyes, bite your lip, and everything in between.

Our first maid was one we called The Dementor. Gloomy as hell, I literally woke up in the morning and ran away from the house, not caring that I could give birth anytime.

She demanded too many things, and refused to halp take care of the baby when the time comes. She also refused to accompany me to my workplace to get healthcare papers less than a week before I gave birth. She could not cook anything that was not instant. She said she had a cough and colds because our location was polluted.

She got sick with some kind of flu, and asked to go on leave.

This happened just as I was looking for a way to tell her to go away forever and ever.

And ever.

I jumped at the chance and told her to get all her stuff, get well, and never come back.

Ever.

But in a nice way.

Our next maid was hired A.D. (After Delivery) She is this hardened, mercenary domestic who was referred to us by our brother in law. She was a dream maid after The Dementor. She was efficient, knew the ropes, knew the place, and smart.

A little too smart.

But before I continue, I’m establishing that at that time we needed a maid, she was the ideal type for us.

She cooked well, and cleaned things fast. But she also stressed me out. I had to constantly follow her around (with my swollen A.D. feet) to micromanage and check on what thing that I have neglected to tell her NOT to use, touch, or eat…that she would almost always be using, touching, and eating.

Worse was when I had to tell her to stop using the washing machine, AND the hypoallergenic detergent, AND the fabric softener on HER clothes EVERYDAY. I do buy them the soft kind of detergent for handwashing their clothes as she requested. GRRRR…

All this was going on while I was struggling with caring for the baby, with the new Yaya referred by my niece’s nanny. At the same time I was pressured about not producing milk.

The poor yaya absorbed most of my frustrations. I used a sharp tone with her at all times, and gave her a hard time as she is the one I am mostly in contact with.

One morning, I went to the maids’ room/laundry area to find the mercenary maid using a capful of Perwoll on her 4 clothes. Another capful on the wiping cloths. I also discovered my supposed unopened Downy Antibac already 1/3 empty. I wanted to scream at her and beat the shit out of her before I throw her out the window.

I did not do the last 2 things. I could only scream at her, and stamp my swollen foot.

One Sunday, she resigned. She said she was bored.

Aaaargh!

The NURVE.

Go fuck yourself and I hope to God your pimples will double in number, you vain little cunt!

On the same Sunday the mercenary maid resigned, my brother also told me the yaya texted him about not wanting to finish her 1-year contract.

I figured this was the work of the little mercenary maid. I told the latter to leave the same day. But only after cleaning the toilet.

(to be cont'd.)

Maid in the Philippines (1st of a series)

2009-08-14T21:46:00.002+08:00

I always refer to the pre-baby days as our “live-in” days and B.C. (Before Childbirth). We had a 1 bedroom place at a furnished condotel.

We picked up after ourselves. Came and went as we pleased, slept in, snuck out, and I walked around preparing food for 2 in my Cami Diaz outfits.

As I became less and less mobile due to my belly, we had to “borrow” maids from my mother-in-law to clean for us and keep me company during my one bedrest episode.

When it was time for grown up environments, we had to move to a bigger place to accommodate our growing nuclear family unit and needs.

1- a yaya (nanny) for the baby
2- a maid to clean/cook/play with the yaya

Becoming a mom and caring for your baby, is mostly biology taking over. Your instincts kick in and you are fine.

Becoming a home-maker/household manager with maids…now, there’s a challenge. It’s probably the most difficult job I have ever tried to do.

Props to anyone who had been doing it for some time.

Dealing with problematic ones ages you.

to be cont'd.

Working It

2009-08-10T19:36:00.002+08:00

click here link to bamaMoms

Since 2nd week of May, I haven’t booked a single schedule for any jobs at ABS-CBN. My maternity leave has been unofficially extended.

Before my leave, I’ve started to get requested by clients for international (motion graphics) plugs. But the local broadcast business is cruel, and memories are short. Therefore, however politically incorrect, having a baby gives you a couple of handicaps:

1-Your hours are not as flexible.
2-Nobody remembers what you did B.C.(Before Childbirth)

This means one needs to work extra hard. You can’t complain, and need to still be on top of trends and techniques. Otherwise, someone younger and hungrier will be more than willing to take your place…at a lower rate.

Oh man. I gotta work it.

Hard.

Think I’m ready for more…my daughter needs those pretty baby shades and I need those pretty mommy shoes…SO BRING IT! *insert maniacal laughter here*

…that is, if they could give us our schedules earlier than 2 hours before, so one can plan the day better. I had to keep refusing work 3 times on the basis of always being caught unprepared. (i.e. I get a call @ 6pm for a midnight schedule. No chance to rest because your day was already over, it started at 5 a.m.!)

It makes one wonder about the claims of the station being “ka-pamilya”. Perhaps it’s not the ideal place to work if you’ve just expanded your family.

On the brighter side, completely unrelated: Audrey sleeps longer at night now. I think she can sleep for as long as 5 hours.

rest

2009-08-07T21:38:00.005+08:00

Maria Corazon Sumulong Cojuangco Aquino

January 25, 1933 – August 1, 2009

Rest In Peace Tita Cory. You have made so many statements in life and in death.

BONGGA KA FOREVER!!! Amen.

sneaked in a movie night

2009-07-20T16:01:00.011+08:00

i had the luxury of seeing a movie while baby is less than 2 months old. (score! happy with the yaya!)

my sister, vangie, and paul went to see transformers 2 with me even though they both have already seen it.

in any michael bay film, one can expect his signature shots that are basically comfort food for the eyes.

1. the group hero walk.this is the full shot of your seeming randomly positioned group of heroes walk/strut towards the camera in slow motion, to a sweeping musical score.
2. the crane hero shot. hero shot that usually starts with worm’s eye view, dollying all the way up to a long shot of your hero. The hero is usually striking a macho pose.
3. the soother. movie’s resident hot chick makes an impossibly sexy superhero pose. a shot designed to bring in male audiences for another viewing.

transformers 2: the rise of the fallen is this year’s official summer testosterone-overload movie.

does it follow several predictable hollywood formulas? yes.

does it make you appreciate the production and post-production work involved? yes.

does it make you look forward to the next installment? yes.

does its being eye candy make you oblivious to the storyline? yes.

does it make you want to buy anything after you watch it? oh yes.

it makes me want to buy scotchguard. so that in case alien robots try to kill me or my man, i can douse myself with it. then i can run around in white pants in the middle of an egyptian desert, with flying debris and explosions without getting any dirt on my clothes.

p.s. i like megan’s lip gloss. guessing it's MAC’s lip glass.

Duh...

2009-07-15T16:45:00.012+08:00

nightingale nurses, matteh and jocelyn holding 10 day old Audrey. my lifesavers.

We have a beautiful baby girl. Maybe I’m biased, and people are just polite, but one look at her, and I want to change the world for her.

As Jerome looked on in wonder at her tiny features, I teased him that we probably needed a very beautiful baby because god figured anything less won’t survive, with us as parents.

I so very much want to paint that perfect picture of parental bliss, but everyone knows that is b.s.

Flashback to the birthing room…

My last thought as I gave my final push was: "oh good, last push. I’m really hungry…dinnertime."

Time stopped as my baby (born with her eyes open) and i looked at each other for the first time. She cries a feisty, full-throated cry. I waited for the huge tidal wave of love to engulf me.

Nothing.

I only thought, "Oh there’s the baby. She’s outside of me now, and her leg looks like the paa of a chicken inasal."

Both Jerome and I had baby-phobia, brought about by our rooming-in experience at the hospital.

We both could not hold the baby right. Audrey was crying from 11pm to 1 am. I had no breastmilk yet, she was frustrated and hungry. She slept and woke up to cry some more.

Your offspring’s cry of frustration is probably the most soul shaking, painful sound in the world. You have no clue as to what you are doing, except that since your baby is crying, it probably means you are doing something or maybe everything wrong.

And Audrey kept crying. On the bright side, we can be certain that she has very strong lungs.

Mercifully, the night nurse from the nurse's station came in and brought her outside, feeding her glucose water. We immediately passed out. We later learned that Audrey is not a fussy baby, and does not cry very much.

We got the services of The nightingale nurses. They took care of Audrey as Jerome and I worked around:

1. being clueless new parents
2. having no maids (omg, a whole blog entry)
3. no yaya in sight
4. literally still living out of suitcases
5. being in a new, unfurnished place
6. being emotionally, spiritually, and (I figure) financially drained
7. having very little breastmilk, and no idea what to do with that

The nurses patiently coaxed me into becoming involved with my child. Jocelyn, a mom herself, would patiently come after me for the baby’s feeding. Matteh patiently showed me how to organize the baby’s things, and (sometimes) demanding from us certain things the baby needed. And Jerome ran off to get them at the same time organizing the new place.

When their services were about to end, and Jerome had to go back to work, I cried like the scared lost being that I was. But afterwards I knew I had to push myself to get my shit together, and do a mommy bootcamp with the nurses.

Jerome had to gently talk me out of becoming the frightened, literally petrified, and sobbing mess whenever the baby cried. He had to remind me that Audrey was no longer as fragile as when she was in the hospital.

Somehow, the peptalk worked. Some switch kicked in.

So I decided to approach the situation in the same way I would with things that were new and alien, like the ff:

bungee jumping
snorkeling
skimboarding
getting married
moving to Singapore
gambling everything to take a talent test
backpacking alone across a foreign country with only a map and 3 phrases

I kept in mind that everything i initially found scary and daunting, had always been a secret gateway to a vast amount of exhilaration. All one needed is to just trust life.

On the first day Jerome went back to work, I locked myself and the baby inside the room. Told the new maid not to bug me.

I looked at the baby as I mentally rolled up my sleeves, telling her: "c’mon kid, let’s do this together. I'm gonna earn your love and you will get mine"

A mountain of diapers, a new yaya, month and a half of sleepless nights later, I am still learning.

Raising/caring for a child/baby is just like learning a software, when you know 70% of the interface, its time for an upgrade, and everything changes again.

icon's visuals

2009-07-09T22:29:00.006+08:00

3d rendering of our living area (if done right)

gotta love the visualization...i lovette to the world!!! click here check out ipe's site.

also linked here are design studies for our living area.

j'adore.

having cake

2009-07-07T20:41:00.006+08:00

traditional caramel cake with butter icing,

paired with strong brewed coffee laced with cream...

decadence has found its home.

last sunday, i finally got THE cake. :) my sister, vangie made good on her promise and brought over estrelle's superb caramel cake. i have been craving it since my pregnancy.

YUMMY.

ipe and eddy came over all the way from calamba. we had a fun girltime.

ipe, (who holds the distinction of being the only other man who gets to run his fingers through my hair) finally got those long, preternaturally thick, hormonally-enhanced hair cut to a decent shape and length.

also got my first color since that seemingly distant day i got evidence on audrey's existence. still wearing them long. :)

paul brought over pizza and chicken. my brother and my sister in-law happened to be in town for a convention. they came over for a quick visit, cooing at audrey.

it's a good way to spend a sunday when your husband has to work.

farrah & mj

2009-07-04T23:01:00.004+08:00

my husband had this poster when he was about 5.

he kissed his "girlfriend" goodnight every night.

ok ok ok...

i'm not that apathetic that i would not blog about 2 pop culture icons passing on the same day...

sad about farrah fawcett. may she rest in peace, she will always be this dewey, beautiful, effervescent creature in the poster above.

mj?-probably the greatest pop artist of our time. but goddamn creepy. bye bye, rest in peace too.

Preparing for a Marathon (Final Part of a Series)

2009-07-03T23:21:00.007+08:00

my daughter (shown with dr. cruz-reyes) shows everyone she has powerful lungs despite being petite like her namesake, audrey hepburn.

In Chiqui Brosas-Hahn’s Prepared Chilbirth classes, she really prepares you. No surprises anywhere for both me and Jerome. Except for the duration, and the pain’s absent intensity.

While researching about childbirth, I’ve come to a conclusion that preparing for childbirth is like preparing for a marathon. I also got a lot of odds stacked against me:
i. my age is 38 (classified as elderly pregnancy, elderly primie)
ii. a tipped uterus
iii. a previous laparoscopic cystectomy
iv. I’m nowhere as fit as I ought to be

Medically, I would have a huge chance of a long labor, most likely ending up with a caesarian birth.

But surprise! Seems all those yoga relaxation technique/Bradley method’s breathing paid off.

I’d breathe when a contraction comes and it helped. All the while in my mind, I had Chiqui’s voice going: “relax so the baby can come out”

When it was time to push, it was Chiqui’s voice reminding me to push “down and out”. Plus, being born with birthing hips sure probably didn't hurt. LOL. The baby crowned on my first set of pushing, and came out on the 5th set.

At 7:44 PM, the Mothership landed.

Audrey Lauren Khu Garcia arrives.

Her daddy finally cuts the thick, hard, grainy umbilical cord.

Labor day (Part 3 of a series)

2009-07-02T18:58:00.006+08:00

The main reason we chose to birth in Asian Hospital was because they would allow one companion inside the labor room/genesis ward.

This being our first baby and all. I was the only patient that day. Jerome and my sister alternated staying with me as we waited for more intense contractions and dilations.

My contractions felt like Braxton-hicks. It was never that painful. So I gave my pain scale at 2 (1-10, 10 being the highest.)

I filled out some forms, as some rude, pedestrian doctor who thinks she is still in PGH’s charity ward asked me if I wanted to be in labor until the next day.

I gave her a curt “I don’t know” and dismissed her. In my head, I added: “packew ka, ah…as if I can control my dilation. Idiot, go suck on gangrene pus or something…*growl*”

Mercifully, she went away and never came back.

Our friend Abbie, who has an ENT practice in the hospital, dropped by the labor room, and chatted with me a bit. An hour went by, I was still on the same 6 cm dilation, so I got an epidural from a Dr. David.

It was a relatively painless procedure, but more painful than any of my contractions. The friendly, calming, and helpful nurses, Nurse Daisy, and Nurse Tords of Genesis is something I will always be grateful for, this type of warmth seems to typify Asian Hospital’s wonderful service.

This is a hospital that truly made one feel human, and not a piece of meat about to produce another piece of meat. (Hello, Medical City! Learn from the professionals! Duh!)

My OB-Gyn, Dr. Cecilia Cruz-Reyes, arrived and periodically checked on me. By 7ish, they wheeled me into the birthing room. My sister ran off and got Jerome. (Poor baby, he was having his first meal for the day.)

This is it, I thought, the grand finale is near. My body was ready, my mind was set, my spirit was on it.

The Mothership wants to land. Dammit.

Road Trip (Part two of a series)

2009-07-01T18:49:00.009+08:00

The ride to Alabang was a road trip.

Our stuff had already been packed 2 weeks prior (week 37th).

i. Our clearbook with all the info

ii. Coaching notes from Chiqui Brosas’ Prepared Childbirth Classes

iii.Certificate from Chiqui’s classes

iv.Atm’s, credit cards, cash,

v. 3 Baby outfits (a girl’s gotta have choices)

vi.2 Mommy’s post birth outfits (1 in case of Ceasarian Birth)

.Daddy’s clothes

viii.Doctor’s Admission orders

ix.Toiletries

x. PSP to chase off boredom

xi.Healthcare documents

We were all set.

I fired off SMS to everyone who may want to know that I was having the baby.

We knew we were starting a new adventure, we were excited, hopeful, a little apprehensive, but happy. We were doing this together.

It started to rain when we hit Magallanes.

Thank god this was not a film. Otherwise, I’d be dramatically huffing and birthing away inside the backseat of George (Jerome’s trusty Car), Jerome would be all dripping from the rain as he cut the cord with a borrowed Swiss knife from a good Samaritan equally trapped in the SLEX traffic, and…

As I said, this was not a film. So we made it to the hospital after almost 2 hours.

Funny how people react to a woman in labor. Jerome pulled up and told the guard (who was asking him to move the car) at the Asian Hospital that his wife is about to give birth.

The guy looked frightened, and pointed us to th e.r. we then told him we were going to the genesis ward. he ran off and came back with a wheelchair in 4 seconds.

True story.

(to be contd.)

39th (Part One of a Series)

2009-06-30T11:02:00.008+08:00

Exactly a month ago today was halfway through my 39th week.

I had gone for a scheduled weekly checkup in Medical City.

I thought of taking a cab to the doctor’s, since Jerome had to work that day. But feeling heavy and ungainly, I decided to take my husband’s advice and asked my sister to go with me instead.

Lucky move.

I have been walking around 6 cm dilated.

It was 11 AM. My OB-Gyn told me not to take in any more food or drinks. My last meal had been breakfast @ 9 that morning. Not fun.

I was to call my husband so we can head off to Asian Hospital in Alabang.

We agreed to meet at home, as my sister drove. She and Paul would then follow us to Asian Hospital.

The Mothership is here.

(to be contd.)

who's your daddy?

2009-06-21T20:52:00.004+08:00

new daddy dresses less than a week old audrey as nurse ma-teh supervises.

it's jerome's first fathers' day as a father. yay!!!

since we've started dating, i've always nicknamed jerome "daddy j". it's because of that responsible aura he exudes, that intensity, and well, that seriousness. :)

he told me this morning that, when his daughter smiled at him as he picked up her up, his heart broke. i think it's the sweetest thing.

happy fathers' day, baby! you rock.

prologue: audrey arrives

2009-06-08T23:40:00.005+08:00

may 30th--i watched my life gain new meaning as our daughter, audrey lauren khu garcia arrive via normal delivery.

childbirth and caring for your young must be two of the most primal experiences one can have.

being a new mother also seems to mean one has the uncanny inability to focus on anything long enough. hence, i sign off for now. i should be resting.

new home--new kitchen

2009-05-27T19:01:00.009+08:00

Having just moved to our new place, we still find some kinks, but the place is beginning to grow on us. We are very slowly looking into furniture, depending on the availability of funds, of course.

Our place has curious little nooks in many places, and with the right furniture and arrangement, the place has wonderful potential to be sexy. You just really need to think out of the box.

One thing I don’t understand is this: consistently, newer condo kitchens get placed in some obscure, odd part of the unit. Most of the time, it’s airless, dark, and very far from any window.

Ours is no exception, in fact, it’s probably a prime example of the worst designed kitchens of all time. If it were a person, I would personally advise him/her to jump off a bridge.

It is just one long, airless space. The cabinets are shallow. Storage is stupidly low-volume, and cheap looking. Everything about it is totally uninspired. It is honestly the fugliest, most unimaginative, insipid cooking space that came with any place I ever lived in. Ever. Compared to it, Elena’s vintage kitchen totally rocks. This one is just...narrow and sad...

With a microwave oven, a couple of water jugs, a toaster, a coffee maker, a small rice cooker, a small dish dryer, there is roughly 1 1/2 square feet total of work space. And did I mention it is airless?

Enter solutions:

1. Electric fan on the end wall.

2. Curtain to hide it when we entertain.

3. Exhaust.

4. The Gordon….ta-dah! (I’m just drawing plans for this stainless steel structure. I’ll post it soon as the design is finalized and approved by the contractor/fabricator.)

365

2009-05-24T18:01:00.004+08:00

my father's 1st year death anniversary. i'm stuck in manila.

pregnant, barefoot, getting cabin fever, and using some poor unsuspecting neighbor's wifi. not much to do on a sunday. my husband has to work on a transaction over the weekend.

i'm using jerome's cutesy netbook to entertain myself. i hear the maid making scratching sounds with her perennial folding of plastic bags. shush...shush...shuch...schruch...*aaaargh*

getting cranky. my heart is in cdo. with my childhood. with my life when it was simple and easy.

i want to just sleep and wake up in macasandig. 4th grade, looking forward to watching candycandy and my father telling me i'm doing something wrong yet again.

always the shining light

2009-05-06T15:00:00.003+08:00

i love annie lennox. she's eternal. go ateh-annie!
she covers ash's shining light in her new album.

Shining Light

Roman candles that burn in the night
Yeah, you are a shining light
You lit a torch in the empty night
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

You've always been a thorn in their side
But to me you're a shining light
You arrive and the night is alive
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

We made our connection
A fool on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over Royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light

You are a force, you are a constant source
Yeah you are a shining light
Incandescent in the darkest night
Yeah you are shining light
My mortal blood I would sacrifice
For you are a shining light
Sovereign bride of the infinite
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

We made our connection
A full on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over Royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light

And these are days you often say
There's nothing that we can't do
Beneath a canopy of stars
I'd shed blood for you
The north star in the firmament
You shine the most bright
I've seen you draped in an electric veil
Shrouded in celestial light

We made our connection
A fool on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Yeah, you are a shining light
A constellation once seen
Over Royal David's city
An epiphany you burn so pretty
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life
Yeah, you are a shining light
Yeah, you light up my life

semi-gentle migration

2009-04-28T17:08:00.008+08:00

with colors, my husband lets me decide--due to a previous incident. *click here*

last weekend was the start of our slightly gentle migration to the new grown-up place. we are a little sad to be leaving astoria soon, but we're beginning to see ourselves in that new place.

part 2 of the move will probably happen midmay.

this is the last newlyweds' transition we would do (after putting it off for almost 2 years). we leased our first home already furnished, so we are just experiencing the whole furnitures/fixtures buying frenzy. okay, not so much the former, but more of the latter.

under normal circumstances, it would be a lot of fun to fix up an empty place. but it gets a little overwhelming while preparing for baby's arrival at the same time. financially, it really hurts. with my pregnancy incapacitating my earning abilities, it sucks big time to feel so helpless and useless.

on the other hand, i get to satisfy my nesting instincts. i picked some colors for the rooms, met and showed our contractor, robert the plumbing, electricals, & repainting to be done, and finally securing the work permit.

we got some very clean-looking lighting fixtures, that are (yes!) energy efficient and eco-friendly. and above all, the design is beautifully sexy and streamlined.

jerome gets animated whenever we look at furnitures. basically stuff we would buy...well, perhaps q3 or q4. lol. hmmm...maybe they'll go on sale.

mama garcia gave us some furnitures. we got a handsome mahogany dining set with 8 seats. with it is a cupboard. a small fridge to put treats and babyfood. we also got a yellow leather loveseat that used to belong to jerome's brother, joel to function as our official couch for now.

come saturday, some major bedroom pieces will be delivered. this is fun and exciting. i get to color one wall of our bedroom red. seriously.

kungpao preview

2009-04-20T20:31:00.004+08:00

it was a little past lunch when we got the scan. she must have been hungry, she's sucking on her fist and thumb.

we got our first glimpse of what kungpao baby might look like. the general consensus is that she looks a lot like her daddy.

i heart technology.

birthday girl

2009-04-15T23:05:00.001+08:00

to celebrate my 38th year, i had a very short list of plans:

1. take the day off from work
2. be offline all day
3. indulge in a quick foot spa
4. tuck myself in for a 3 hour afternoon nap
5. date my husband
6. eat a cupcake
7. be home by 12 to catch csi

mission accomplished, and my birthday was simply happy.

baby names

2009-04-08T22:38:00.011+08:00

on my first trimester, i went through a kungpao chicken phase. hence, baby's pet name is kungpao. these days, the pet name has morphed into "pao-ey", and sometimes i'd call her "paoey taylor" if she's especially zippy.

kungpao seemed to have stuck. it's cute, but i know paoey won't thank me for it.

on the first visit to the doctor after i confirmed my pregnancy, i got a baby names book. we've already agreed on baby boy's/girl's names by month 4. but we decided to keep calling her kungpao/paoey until we fill out her birth certificate. :)

and of course there are the usual jokes about some names that guarantee a law degree; names so hideous and spiritually damaging that the kid will, without a doubt become a lawyer just so he/she can sue his/her parents.

one such name was brilliantly put together by ipe and eddy: fabulous tombraider garcia.
the explanation being: mom's just "o.k. garcia", so baby has got to be fabulous. and tombraider is in the spirit of...well, the notorious celebrity baby names.

found in one portion of the book, 60,000+ baby names , i've listed some totally fun favorites:

Audio Science (son of Shannyn Sossamon & Dallas Clayton)

Daisy Boo (daughter of Jaime and Jools Oliver)
Poppy Honey (daughter of Jaime and Jools Oliver)
Petal Blossom Rainbow (daughter of Jaime and Jools Oliver)

Dweezil (Son of Frank & Gail Zappa)
Moon Unit (Daughter of Frank & Gail Zappa)

Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q (Son of Bono & Allison Stewart) -!!superlative!! lol

Fifi Trixiebelle (Daughter of Paula Yates & Bob Geldof)
Peaches Honeyblossom (Daughter of Paula Yates & Bob Geldof)
Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily (Daughter of Paula Yates & Michael Hutchence)

Moxie Crimefighter (Daughter of Penn & Emily Jilette)

Pilot Inspektor (Son of Jason Lee & Beth Reisgraf)

Scout LaRue (Daughter of Demi Moore & Bruce Willis)

so yeah, i think "fabulous tombraider" could give these names a run for their money.

week 30

2009-03-24T17:02:00.004+08:00

tomorrow will be the 30th week of our pregnancy. 10 more weeks to go.

just saw myself reflected on glass as i crossed the street a few minutes ago. i now have a full-on no-nonsense waddle. i feel like a penguin.

we'll be attending chiqui brosas' prepared childbirth classes starting sunday.

classes start at the unholy hour of 9am! *growl*

omg. and so sleep deprivation starts here?

10 year alien song

2009-03-17T19:23:00.002+08:00

never gets old *lol*

it's been 10 years since good ol' vic did this. it's now considered a cult classic.

belly belt

2009-03-13T18:17:00.005+08:00

just got this contraption called a bellybelt *click link* from crossings' *click link* procreation. it was the last box in the store consigned by mommy matters *click link*.

it's really clever. if i'd bought it early in my pregnancy, my php1,100 would have come a long way.

i have been missing my mini skirt, and my favorite cargo pants...now i can wear them again. *clap clap clap*

in manila, they're also available online (click below for links):

indigo baby
mommy matters

movie night: watchmen

2009-03-08T14:22:00.010+08:00

watchmen is one of those movies you either hate or love. running at 2.5 hrs., i summarize it in the immortal copy of an 80's purefoods hotdog *click link* commercial:

"very long, very nice".

why it reminds me of that commercial? 2 words:
doctor.
manhattan.

having only heard a vague reference to a character named rorschach *click link* from hagee back in the 90's, i have never read this particular limited series of graphic novels *click link* before.

this, for me is a good thing. so there is no temptation to fall into the trap of unfair and unreasonable comparison between 2 different mediums: film vs. paper. no matter how tempting... since the film obviously had a storyboard reminiscent, if not lifted from its graphic novel brother.

just like sin city *click link* and 300 *click link*, typical of a frank miller/zack snyder collaboration of sorts, the whole film noir feel dares you to freeze at any point in the film, so you may find a beautifully composed and executed picture.

rumor had it john cussack wanted to play night owl (resident nice guy), but i'm glad he didn't. i find the cast's blend of relative anonymity/nonobscurity just right.

surprise sparkle came from malin akerman *click link* who plays silk spectre 2. you see her as a blonde in previous films heartbreak kid *click link*, and 27 dresses *click link*. here she looks like she was born to play a brunette superhero in latex.

another universal favorite is rorschach played by ja c kie earle haley *click link*. rorschach is a fierce little bugger who talks like christian bale's batman...only you can understand this guy. you'll love him and his fascinating mask; lovelovelove the inkblots. (note to self: must remember to look up the making of effects)

the only setback one may see is that, other than doc manhattan, our heroes have no superpowers. just a bunch of adrenalin junkies with unnatural courage, grace, athleticism, resources, and strength. not a bad thing, really.

but overall, you'll come out feeling like your visual palate had a delicious meal.

caution: TMI undies

2009-03-07T16:52:00.012+08:00

my newest favorite panty--wonder woman from topshop! *ta-dah*

i'm a huge fan of cheeky undies. buying new WW panties made me realize this.

once upon a time, i had panties that were printed with a thousand little "no!" signs, but it's also got invisible but glow in the dark little "yes!" signs. it ended up burned by a lamp. dumb bet. long story. don't ask. (i gave a joe boxer version of it to nelson, i remember.)

i also had another one, i think it was a thong that had a little plastic pocket that said "place photo here".

so imagine my squeals when i found some "cuties" boy leg shorts with glitters. in bench. of all places.

i think i pick my undies like i pick my friends. fun, cheeky, easy, and always a comfort.

welchade

2009-03-04T15:10:00.007+08:00

nothing like a glass of ice cold welchade this summer.

don't think this is a legit welch's product. can't seem to find it in their website. *click here*

the label really says welchade, and upon closer inspection, the font is in cooper. it's manufactured/bottled in china, so i dunno about their dodgy safety standards, etc. but it tastes fantabulous! it says "less sweet" on its label, too.

i can only find it in the 7-11 store a block and a half away, though. yummy. probaby should resist the pull...

but as my friend, dario puts it: "aye lavvit!"

weep

2009-02-21T11:38:00.003+08:00

in an article for fitpregnancy, jenna mccarthy writes:

"I used to cry at Hallmark commercials. Now I cry at just about anything...*cut*...not the wistful, silent kind of weeping you see in the movies, either, but heaving, sniffling, body-convulsing sobs."

weeping uncontrollably is one of the symptoms a pregnant girl gets, thanks to mother nature.

the first time i got this was on the 6th week of pregnancy. while looking for a tweezer, i came across my father's razor, realizing how much i missed him, i started to cry.

this was horribly alarming as i could not get myself to stop. i had already drank a pitcher of water and tried to get my shit together, but still... the pathetic sobbing wouldn't stop.

after almost an hour of this, i decided to wake my husband. panicked, he asked me what the matter was. i could not answer him, as the weeping thing had taken a life of its own.

finally exhausted, the thing stopped and i fell asleep with an anxious, semi-scared husband comforting me.

the following week, i asked my friend karen about it, she assured me that this was a normal hormonal thing.

averaging once a month since then, when feeling fragile and helpless over one situation or another, i'd prepare 2 liters of drinking water and a box of tissues. i'd let the tears roll down, let the sobs wrack my shoulders, and let what jerome calls my "crying hormones" take over.

tubing

2009-02-18T14:17:00.002+08:00

while researching about babies and childcare in general, i came across this video.

i find myself going back to watch it over and over. can't seem to get enough of the cuteness factor.

hooray for big brothers! :)

valentine's day

2009-02-14T14:39:00.001+08:00

belated happy valentine's day, everyone.!

haunted by sims

2009-02-09T11:46:00.009+08:00

i'm rediscovering sims2. there's castaway and there's pet sims on the psp.

like evry avarage, overaged kid pretending to be all grown up, i can play sims for hours. taking short, quick bathroom and water breaks, and also to pump back circulation into my numb hands.

last night, i dreamed i was a sim. my baby had already been born, and she's also a sim. except...she looked pretty...pretty funny, that is.

it was as if the ghost of my laitera past had come to haunt me.

in the dream, i had to dig REALLY deep inside me to find maternal love for the baby (who kept getting moved around by other sims whenever i'm about to change her nappies).

so every non-cute little kid i was ever mean to, and even my friend who once told her son not to bother auntie olive so much because she's not kid-friendly, was probably in it.

i wake up before my alarm goes off, and start to giggle. not because it's funny, but that's my usual reaction when i get nervous.

below is one of my favorite sims intro on youtube. enjoy.

kungpao

2009-02-05T12:32:00.002+08:00

kungpao finally decided to strike a pose lying sideways facing the probe.

on our 5th month, we had kungpao checked for genetic anomalies.

kungpao is normal and healthy. a little fiesty, swatting off the probe and making little boxing moves that set the 2 doctors laughing. "ma'am ang kulit-kulit ng baby mo...nag-bo-boxing pa!"

i thought: hmmmm...he's gonna be a handful.

when the doctor finally got a shot of the baby's genitalia...he's 70% sure it's a girl.

jerome had a giant smile that would not budge, his face was in danger of cracking.

another girl for my side of the family. but the first girl grandchild for the garcia side.

i'm starting to address kungpao as "she" but i still lean towards the 30% uncertainty and favor neutral palettes when looking at baby stuff.

the locked out onion

2009-02-04T11:19:00.002+08:00

one of the side effects of pregnancy is absentmindedness. on top of my usual share of it, it can have some semi-serious consequences.

but on the plus side, it can also be a good way to get in touch with people you miss.

a couple of weeks ago, i decided to go to our neighborhood korean grocer to get an onion for a soup dinner.

upon closing the door, i was horrified to realize that i had grabbed my wallet + cellphone instead of wallet + keys.

uh-oh.

it was only 7-ish.

left with no choice but to wait for my husband to get home from work, i wandered about clutching my onion, went into the deli shop and the clothing outlet nearby. even the 24hr convenience store was not spared by me and my onion.

pregnant lady with an onion coming through...

an hour later, i got tired and decided to sit on the lobby's most comfortable chair with my onion. i started to text people.

my husband could not leave work just yet.

faith called me from australia. she was watching the tennis open.

my sister was on her way to antipolo. dioky was here.

karen called and giggled with me. we set a date for dinner.

pinky texted from singapore. she was on her way home from work.

ipe from calamba told me not to get too attached to my onion.

by 9, my husband finally got home and ordered a pizza.

so yeah, i get it! learned my lesson...stock up on onions!

25 random things…

2009-02-03T22:43:00.007+08:00

this is presently the more popular post circulated in facebook. someone tagged me, and i tagged 10 others. however, i won’t tag anyone here…

just continuing my shorter list of 10 on facebook.

the primary blurb says:

“once you've been tagged, you are actually SUPPOSED to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged. you have to tag the person who tagged you. if i tagged you, it is because i want to know more about you…yadah-yadahyadah...”

1. i am a passenger for life, i don't drive.

2. my first big ambition was to become miss universe after watching the pageant on tv in 1974. i was 3.

3. my favorite breakfast is swensen's chocolate peanutbuttercup-flavored ice cream. But my favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla.

4. dr. seuss books gross me out. always have, always will.

5. my earliest memory involves trying to climb onto my parents' bed while my brother and sister were jumping on it.

6. we live in a hotel, and own literally 3 pieces of furniture.

7. i HATE knuckle-cracking.

8. after i got married, bridal marches (when fathers give away their daughters) make me teary-eyed.

9. i type like a texan speaks. slow.

10. i chose to cut down this list to 10 things and 10 people initially on facebook, but.changed my mind, decided to continue here.

11. since the age of 6, i’ve always had a minimum of one close gay friend. a trueblue faghag.

12. i did not eat red meat for 8 years until i moved to singapore.

13. since one flight to bkk from sg, i became a nervous flyer. there was really bad turbulence with matching lights going out in the cabin, and a palpable drop in altitude as registered in the screens.

14. i rely heavily on spellcheck for my spelling.

15. i am normally optimistic.

16. my husband says i smile while asleep, my sister says i smirk.

17. i collect postcards. love them, they’re like time/place capsules.

18. the best day of my life was when i understood happiness.

19. i love my birthstone:diamonds.

20. an eye doctor once diagnosed me as “displaying symptoms consistent with type A personalities”. who? me?

21. i’m still learning to cook only 2 servings at a time.

22. i used to read tarot cards as a hobby. still have my decks somewhere…

23. i’ve been to thailand’s royal stables…where i discovered just how SEVERELY allergic to horses i am.

24. i have a padi license, but I haven’t used it since my check-out dive.

25. my head is clearest at 2 AM.

mothership 101

2009-01-29T14:26:00.003+08:00

my top3 reference materials

a friend once told me she was pursuing becoming a single mom because motherhood was natural and biological, whereas being a wife is man-made and contrived.

as a relative newbie, being pregnant is an alien thing, interesting...but still strange.

so my 3 favorites reading materials about this are here. they are my top 3 because these are the only 3 i have read. ;P

what to expect when you're expecting--first chapter made me want to pull out all my hair. it was the most boring, unengaging, textbook-like literature whatever thing i had to plow through. but the following ones with illustrations, symptoms, and more info on your strange new condition becomes relatable. now it's the official go-to book at home. i use the glossary/index like an encyclopedia.

baby love-- very intimate. its short title blurb on the cover says it all: "choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence" one of the lines in the book says: "i feel as if the self i knew is fading away, and i have no idea who is coming to take her place." it's not all reflections, she takes us through her pregnancy from top all the way to her son's birth. you relate to her emotional wobbles during pregnancy.

skinny bitch, bun in the oven-- it's helpful, cheeky and realistic. but it messes you up if you are a meat eater. seriously. the original skinny bitch book is said to contain similar diet recommendations. but this one has insights and practical advice that extend all the way to after giving birth.
a chapter title reads: "the companies you trust don't care about your children"
on letting the baby-daddy be a dad: "...let him be a dad...he's the only other person on the planet who'll listen to your boring monologues about how special and beautiful and precious your baby jesus is."
on what makes a m.i.l.f.: "a woman who overvalues her appearance is a bimbo...mother or not." and "nurturing...needs and interests will make you a better mom...she never asked you to become a single-minded, lame-ass bore."

so now back to my sims2 castaway game. i need to move that stone so i can get to the other beach...

List of lists

2009-01-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

2009 goals:

1. be earth-friendlier and save the planet everyday
2. minimum 3x/ week workout ( pregnant or not!)
3. make weekly food plan to include 5-6 servings of fruits + veggies daily
4. stop worrying and trust life more
5. keep positive AT ALL TIMES
6. 120 work hours average every payday
7. look into doing post-prod work again
8. drive with license
9. create a twice-monthly saving habit
10. research and learn technicalities on child rearing
11. zero out credit card and cancel it
12. finally organise wedding photos!

I’m one of those people who adore lists. If there’s a shirt that says “I heart lists”, I’d wear it, and that would be the gospel truth.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, or disorganized, sit down for a couple of minutes and make your “To-do list”. Break down the things to suitable categories and tick them off one by one as you achieve them…and you get your “Ta-dah! list”.

List everything from the most mundane and humble, all the way to the most lofty and ambitious. I believe that writing items down will help you focus and visualize their accomplishment a little easier.

So far, here are some of the items I have on current lists:

1. 2009 goals
2. grocery list
3. household to-do list
4. papers and legal stuff to do list
5. baby things list
6. financial projection for Q1 & 2
7. wish list
8. weekly food plan
9. prospective homes contact list
10. restructured career goals/path 2009-2011
11. research topics list
12. laundry list
13. list of lists

hello 2009

2009-01-09T22:20:00.008+08:00

happy new year everyone!

2008 is gone!!! yay! hello 2009!

despite the many people it took from us, 2008 was not a total sonovabitch. it did bring me kungpao *click here*, and made my sister fine *click here*.

2009 would most likely be fun. hoping all goes well--then i'll be a proper mommy. a friend assured me it's not as intimidating as people think...just treat your kids like very intelligent pets and you'll be fine.

we'll also be moving to a new place middle this year, one that can accommodate our expanded nuclear family unit (will soon include a brand new offspring!!!)

with the world's economic climate going to shit...one begins to doubt the wisdom of bringing a kid into this world...but then again: fuck that. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING.

still fixing 2009 goals at this time. will post them next.

happy holidays!

2008-12-24T12:05:00.003+08:00

it's 12 noon and i've just let mama garcia's maid in. she's here early to get the place ready and help me prepare tonight's merry little christmas noche buena here at home.

just posting some my favorite christmas sawngs above.

flying home to cdo tomorrow. wheee!!!

santa

2008-12-22T12:23:00.000+08:00

i believe in santa...

the mothership

2008-11-19T15:38:00.004+08:00

this is my formula for early indoctrination:

"test...test 1, 2...* modulate your voice and speak directly to your belly.

"kung pao (or any baby nickname you use), this is your mothership speaking. i am your portal to this world. you must always always listen to me, because i am always gonna be right. you can also call me mommy. wwwoooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeooooooooaaaaoooooooooaaaaaeeeeeehhhh..."

note: make the last bit sound like a spaceship in 70's movies.

jerome caught me doing this once and told me to stop freaking the kid out.

i disagree. me and kung pao are just hangin'.

nothing going on

2008-11-10T22:07:00.008+08:00

in my enthusiastic eyes...my belly protrudes in a pregnant-lady-way.

but in reality, it's really nothing great yet.

a lot of non-pregnant women and men have got bigger and brighter looking bellies than mine. some look very much like second trimester bellies.

so, if i take the mrt, people would basically tell me to go fuck myself, i'm not getting a seat, i'm just fat like everyone else.

as my expanding waistline makes me start looking into maternity clothes---gingersnaps completely turned me off.

my theory is that the designers and owners are people who believe pregnant women should dress like infants because of the odd proportions they now sport.

make pregnant women wear lace, puff sleeves, and ruffles...yay!!!

yuck! it's enough to trigger one's morning sickness. (luckily, i don't get that, thanks to multivitamins i have been downing for years. yeah i'm unapologetically smug about this...it means i do have some good habits!)

i'm partial to bohemian/flowerchild styles. the clothes that flow with you, celebrate with you, and smile with you.

surely, in this season of bazaars i can find some.

new day

2008-11-05T21:29:00.006+08:00

i'm not a fan of the u.s. of a.

i'm from u.p., which means i either dislike the country blindly or want to move there. i have no ambitions of moving there.

today, americans wake up to a brave new world.

obama wins. good on ya, mr. barack obama. i hope you can save the world.

the amazing race asia 3

2008-11-04T21:19:00.022+08:00

two more days to the next tara3. can't wait. :)

based on the fact that last season's winners, sg's colin (my bodypump instructor way back when! yay!) and adrian were the endorsers of sony videocams...i'd say this year's winners are the honkie boyfriends, sam & vince by virtue of them being the only team to have the same endorsements.

hehehe. i think sam looks like my friend eddy. (only eddy looks a whole lot better.) both vince and sam are likeable enough, and they can bitch at each other like an old married couple. adorable.

a.d. & fuzzie, funky lezzies. poised because these two ladies take themselves much too seriously to make any attempts at undignified sprints...they amble along. but they are still in the game.henry & bernie--sad to see this brother/sister team go!!! they are just so cute. with henry in his disco vest emblazoned with "bimbo", and sister bernie all sporty and sweet at the same time. i really liked this team's dynamic.
my favorite team, ida & tania! the heiress and the actress, both fun, pretty, and gutsy. everybody loves loves and just loves their energy. they have fun, and make amazing race very very cool. dunno if anyone else notices the duo somehow manages to be sipping softdrinks while inside a jeep on a hell-hot day, or that they mange somehow to get the nice luxurious bus... they are just fabulous.
and finally--team philippines, tisha & geoff. okay...i don't even know where to begin. at least this team play the villains, so they won't get eliminated easily. it's amusing to count the number of obnoxious and rude/crude/ignorant things short-tempered geoff does every episode. but it's another thing to watch out for the abuse-of-the-day he would heap on beauty queen, fhm-posing , doormat-impersonating tisha.

okay, i will say something nice. she defends her man and takes offense as 5 complete and total strangers from several different countries point out that her man was an asshole/jerk. only they were using polite euphemisms. so she is loyal.

she is really NICE. remember though, that "nice" is a four-letter word.

go team philippines. yay.

i still think sam & vince won.

bed, bitching, & baby

2008-10-29T22:32:00.024+08:00

daddy j + generic asian baby (me) in our rugrat years.

who knew you need to slow plenty down when you get pregnant? you can't go around with a full sched anymore. no walking around for 6-7 hours or so; rest stop in between or not.

i spent the whole of last week, doing what (for me) was always just an urban legend--the much whispered, but seldom discussed pregnancy's total bed rest. *tadah!*

this rest (along with a strict duvadilan regimen) was recommended by my ob-gyne. i texted dr. c. cruz-reyes after some cramps on sunday night.

initially resisting, and generally pissed off with myself and the situation, i haggled with my doctor to make the bedrest a 3-day affair. she gave her reluctant nod with strict instructions that should there be contractions again by tuesday or wednesday, 7 days bedrest will be non-negotiable.

since i start getting hungry at 7 am (strange new habit: the morning fruit fix) then every 3 hours after that, i decided to park myself in the living room sofa. that way, i can eat while staying horizontal most of the time.

jerome's mom sent her maids daily to come and help me with household chores and errands, etc. i had them buy the fruits i have been meaning to get but somehow, never had the time to buy.

my sister, my mom and my godmother, came to see me. they brought what i call chinese love--COOKED FOOD! about 2 weeks worth of meals for jerome and i.

by wednesday, i was still feeling some funny stuff, so i took the whole week off. that was also after my sister threatened me with the possibility of being confined even much longer if things get worse.

still a little resistant, but trying to be obedient, i called abbie who is also on her first trimester, and also doing bed rest for colds and cough. she's a doctor, and jerome fondly calls her my cosmic twin.

she must have caught the faintest whiff of my resentment at being confined to bedrest. she patiently explained the things about bed rest to me.

the most valuable thing abbie said to me turns out to be: the bedrest is not for you. it's for the baby.

that ended all my little drama queen antics on the spot.

in my self-absorption, in the midst of all the hormonal changes and insanity this body is being subjected to, i have forgotten the most basic point of being pregnant... to bring a child into this world. duh.

that exact moment, when i got over myself, and started to focus on the baby, everything became easy.

i sighed and leaned back. rubbing my belly, i started to send the baby my good vibes of love, peace, happiness, and my sense of wonder.

in turn, the little one made me start hearing frank sinatra, dusty springfield, nora jones, and some other oldies in my head every morning like a "first song syndrome". think this baby is an old soul. lol.

in loving memory

2008-10-07T21:25:00.007+08:00

sarah mclachlan--angel

this year has been a year of many departures.

1- jerome's tita marilyn passed on last week
2- also intered in bulacan now is one of my mother-in-law's favorite uncles, tito cyr santiago
3- tito kit (dondi's dad) went last month
4- a couple of months before that, a member of jerome's family household, mang bert
5- last june, one of ipost vfx group's favorite directors, manong gilbert also passed away.
6- last may, my dad went.

i know many folks who also said goodbye to their loved ones this year. it has been rough on everyone.

we are sad about their passing, once more reminded of how important it is to live fully.

yup.

2008-10-02T22:56:00.005+08:00

just to be sure, i used all 3 test strips.
they all seem to agree that i'm pregnant. tee hee.

it seems i do have a parasite (or two). jerome finds it offensive that i call them this. it's just easier to refer to them as such since it's yet too early to hear the heartbeat/s. and i'm not supposed to make announcements until the 13th week.

until then, i talk to my belly and go:
"c'mon kids! we're going to take the elevator."

sometimes, it's:
"cover your ears kids, mommy said a baaaadd word, you should never call people s---"(rhymes with 'but')

and very often:
"okay kids, you win! mommy will stuff her face."

until october 15th, when i am scheduled to have ultrasound again, i can only tell them:
"hang in there kids! let's make you pretty...you can stop looking like a bunch of cells soon and start looking like daddy..."

FIV5

2008-09-24T08:37:00.005+08:00

in 5 days, i will know if i too have a parasite.

relaxed is my middle name. i don't think i have a parasite (or two) just yet.

weekend in tagaytay

2008-09-23T00:55:00.012+08:00

photos taken on my phone

had a fun weekend in tagaytay. stayed in a boutique hotel/BB called andanita taj *click link*.

loved the place.

we stayed in their casablanca room. the asparagus detail on the ceiling had me at "hello". but that's only second to the painting detail around the toilet paper holder (see photo below). LOL.

food was good indian. kitchen and wifi are 24 hrs.

you get a welcome drink and 30 min massage upon check-in. view decks (indoor and outdoor) look out to a fabulous view. mostly greens. the de rigueur taal volcano view and some of the lake too.

they have a dream cable dish, but it seems not to work, so they have a good collection of dvd's--both hollywood and bollywood. no joke.

but the best part? breakfast in bed. le sigh. i'm such a nazi about bringing food inside the room when i am home...(i.e. "no food and colored/sweetened drinks allowed inside the sleeping quarters...no, sprite is not allowed too. what? no, you can't chew mentos...no") it's fun to do the opposite on weekends like these.

so thaaaat's why they call it bed and breakfast...

i confess

2008-09-17T01:16:00.004+08:00

poor frodo...died of neglect.

i killed him. i killed him! I KEEEEELLED FRODO!!! sorry dude, for forgetting to water you this week.

and last week.

and the week before that...

i really loved your 'do when it was still green...le sigh.

ikea comes to town

2008-09-12T02:55:00.006+08:00

click here to view ikea's philippine site

anybody who has ever gotten their own place has to be a big ikea fan. the ikea nesting syndrome hits you and you find yourself looking at semi-sturdy furnitures, practical glasses and flatware, basically everything you need to establish a starter-home.

as an ikea fixture back in singapore, i had a membership card. LOL. i would spend the whole day there. back then there was only 1 branch. now i heard there's 2!

finally, someone has a store in manila selling just their products. i would seriously go on an ocular inspection soon.

while my great furniture-love is still the cantonese bench from barangbarang, ikea will always have a special place in my heart.

happy ikea-ing!

the kiddie-cheesecake-ring myth trio

2008-09-06T01:31:00.008+08:00

my phone cam loves cheesecake...

Cheesecakes make me happy.

If you are having a bad hair day...have a slice of cheesecake. You now have a bad hair day with a slice of cheesecake.

Having problems at work? Have a slice of cheesecake. Your work problems now come with a slice of cheesecake.

Relationship troubles? Have a slice of cheesecake… *ZAP!* your troubled relationship steps aside for cheesecake…

Cheesecake. Fatima’s assortment of cheesecakes…

*SIGH*

To retain its mystery, I once swore never to learn how this dessert is made. EVER.

I also swore never to get married. EVER.

I also swore not to have kids. EVER.

Since I went to get my follicles monitored today, and it seems my body is responding to my meds. yay. I’m 2 days from being fertile. *DOINK* (hope the sperminator has good swimmers...)

So, I guess today would be a good day to completely unravel and…well…learn to make cheesecake. Sort of.

Humongous help from Jell-o. Best product on earth.

That giant jar of peaches from last Christmas? *BAM* you are topping my first ever cheesecake!

Knox gelatine? *Zzzzt* you will bind my pretty peach flower arrangement together.

And so…

TADAH!!!!

My first cheesecake. Hope Jell-o does not fail me. I’m serving it when Jerome’s folks come over this Sunday Lunch.

Now, all my life's never-ever-chever myths are busted.
True story.

10 yoguing years

2008-09-01T02:46:00.005+08:00

happy 50th birthday, old bird!
you will always be an inspiration to many!*kisses*

just realised that my 10-yr anniversary as a student of yoga has come and gone. yikes!!! how did i forget something that gave me so much?

august 18,1998. leafing through a back issue of shape magazine, the featured exercise that month was ashtanga yoga. there was the usual beginner to intermediate step by step things, etc. i decided to try this yoga thing.

it looked really easy. LOOKED.

from that day on, my journey though yoga began. i bought cd’s, books, looked up stuff online, bought rodney yee’s vcd’s. i was hooked.

it didn't hurt that ate madge (see picture above) later became a big yoga fan as well.

as mr yee likes to emphasize on his short shows, no 2 people make this journey taking the same path.

a panorama opened before me when i took classes in singapore. different teachers taught different things. it was a beautiful journey through self-awareness. that cliché—mind,body,and spirit? why do you think it’s a cliché?

you realise that it is a beautiful ancient artform. it is prayer in motion. inside the 4 sacred corners of your yoga mat, YOU are the universe.

your heartbeat and your breath are the only 2 things you focus on. nothing in the world touches you there. you are alive, and every bit of your being feels it. you feel a resounding affirmation of your own existence straight from the universe.

one of the best things a yogi taught me is a breathing technique to consciously slow down your heartbeat. sure came in handy on my first meeting with jerome’s folks over sunday lunch when we were just dating! LOL.

ten years of on and off yoguing later, what have i got to show??? aw. exaggerated flexibility does not do you any good, really. gotta get that mat out again. i don’t remember having my 20 y’s (daily yoga for 20 days in a row) since i got married. i think my clothes can attest to that too. geez. below is my personal formula of 20’s. it's simplified for the sake of quick recall.

20’s –
20 sun salutations (can be 2 varieties, 10 suns each)
2 sets of 10 poses.
20 breaths on lotus.
20 breath of life
20 breaths corpse pose.

ek. wonder if i can still do this?

wordle

2008-08-30T14:33:00.010+08:00

wordle it!

being the usisera that i am today, i was following links from pinky's blog, found myself in ipsy's blog.

i saw wordle. it's brilliant. think i could use this whenever i have a rant or leftover post-adolescent angst and don't want to be too coherent but still wanting to express what i...you get the picture.

so let's try this post on wordle. endless mindless fun wheeeeeeeeee!!!

facebookless week

2008-08-27T01:22:00.004+08:00

i'm trying to see if lessening my facebook gaming/clicking around time would encourage more real life participation when i get home from work.

so i'm not going to log on to facebook for a week. won't check my mail either. won't make avatars for whatever reason either.

hopefully, i get to have more time to do home stuff, more time to do my volunteer work...and not be up till 4 or 5 playing various addictive games.

hope i can get to work maybe earlier than my 12 noon schedule.

this is day 3.

it's.

not.

easy.

etchosurgence

2008-08-16T10:01:00.004+08:00

less than a week since i've been reading brian gorrell's blog *click link*, it's now become a login/members only site.

aw.

no more etchos and drama about the soshaleras who grace the local magazines *click link*.

wonder how brian is doing now.

maybe he got his money back.

maybe i should go get a life.

geez.

-----------------------------
Update: it's up again. with new layout. go team brian. :)

Click here for Brian's Blog Link

flashback attack

2008-08-12T03:10:00.007+08:00

thought it's fitting to put the eheads song, pare ko. one of their first hits.

earnest z texted this morning to ask if i’d like to watch a reunion gig of the eraserheads*click link*. she was making the guest list. seems that ely b has decided to do vocals for this one-time gig again.

figured it would be fun to see her after years and years and years.

15 minutes had passed before i realised that i was staring into space with a stupid grin. i had timetravelled back to the 90’s in UP campus---the days of innocence. first dock martens…first joint… first baguio arts fest…first tattoo…first days as a vegetarian…first trip to club dredd…first bong misadventure...

it was as fun as it got, we were fearless and thought we’d live forever. those days were good. we read Buddhist teachings and our minds opened. you learned to trust and to respect life.

i’ve evolved a lot since then. i now eat meat, devour cream and stopped running. i no longer wear pekpek-shorts with green boots in baguio on our way to buy tapuy in the morning. i am married, and contemplating kids.

many 180 degree turns there, but the inner new age girl in me still espouse and delight in zen. gandhi’s philosophy, “my life is my message” still resound loudly.

it’s as if the past tapped me on the shoulder to check if my life is still in the course that a younger and more idealistic olive had charted.

i’m happy to look back and give the younger me a bearhug and tell her: “yup, i still trust life. but y’know…that living forever part?...well…first, let’s talk about gravity…”

progesterone and i

2008-08-09T23:25:00.007+08:00

Tomorrow at 8AM, I'm supposed to start taking progesterone.

After making a progie-run in Medical City's Mercury Drug, I realised that there is the unmistakable presence of cluelessness about this drug I'll be popping for the next 5 days. I only know it's part of Dr. Cruz-Reyes' pre-workup routine for me...

So I wiki'd it, and made a little sense of the chemical.

Progesterone exerts its action primarily through the intracellular progesterone receptor although a distinct, membrane bound progesterone receptor has also been postulated.

Progesterone has a number of physiological effects which are amplified in the presence of estrogen. Estrogen through estrogen receptors upregulates the expression of progesterone receptors.

Progesterone is sometimes called the "hormone of pregnancy",and it has many roles relating to the development of the fetus:

Progesterone converts the endometrium to its secretory stage to prepare the uterus for implantation. *blahblahblah*… Normal menstrual bleeding is progesterone withdrawal bleeding.

During implantation and gestation, progesterone appears to decrease the maternal immune response to allow for the acceptance of the pregnancy.

Progesterone decreases contractility of the uterine smooth muscle. In addition progesterone inhibits lactation during pregnancy. The fall in progesterone levels following delivery is one of the triggers for milk production.

A drop in progesterone levels is possibly one step that facilitates the onset of labor.

The fetus metabolizes placental progesterone in the production of adrenal mineralo- and glucosteroids…yadahyadahyadah…

Or something like that...

*now click play below*

multiplying + facebooking

2008-08-01T22:51:00.005+08:00

in the recent months, i've been unwinding to facebook and multiply. actively hamming it up with the former, and passively lurking in the latter.

i'm a self-confessed escapist--hence my previous posts are mostly vids from youtube, and overagonizing my decision to put this blog on my multiply account.

not sure how comfortable i'd be if people apart from my...oh, say... seven readers (i think, hehehe) actually started to read my blog.

how comfortable would it be if people you are (possibly) only vaguely acquainted with actually get a peek up your mental panties?

to post or not to post...

the john cusack project

2008-07-22T02:17:00.002+08:00

awwww...

a tribute to my eternal crush, lloyd dobler-john cusack.

wait for the credits and mr. hardcore guy. hehehe

enjoy!

youtube-ing

2008-07-13T02:57:00.006+08:00

the past week, jerome discovered
1-youtube
2-firefox's download plug-in
3-a converting freeware i've installed off cnet

he's been having fun tubing and downloading and converting and all of that.

it's fun to watch him with his new toys. teehee. he gets all excited when he finds a supposedly hard to find song or video--"holy cr*p, they got *insert obscure cancelled show here*...

i'm inspired to make a compilation of my top 10 favorite tv moments.

10-alias
jennifer garner. not easy to forget.

9-dexter
dexter finds a body with no blood. cutting edge technique. pun intended.

8-heroes
hiro kills sylar on season 1. yatta!!! memorable because season 2 was a snooze after this episode.

7-sports night
"you're smoky"... funny. sexy. smart. honest.

6-ugly betty
marc as betty. classic. let's face it, we all have someone at work we want to secretly dress up as during holloween.

5-sex and the city
samantha having a hot flash. seriously, the series addressing breast cancer helped ease my own anxieties when my sister was battling her breast ca. i knew she would be ok.

4-will and grace
hahahahaahahahahahaha...hilarious. always gets me.

3-csi
my favorite episode. scary as hell to wake up this way. so quentin. so kill bill. freaky.

2-studio 60 on the sunset strip
watch the first few seconds. the greatest line ever delivered on tv: "if you wanna run i understand, but you better have a good head start, cause i'm coming for you, jordan." every chiope guy will rejoice and weep.

and finally...

1-queer as folk
justin's prom night. beautiful. romantic. sweet. i'm a fag hag. whatyougonnado? hahaha...but really. one of the series' best moments. classic brian kinney.

aerosmith and 2 movies

2008-06-13T17:24:00.012+08:00

playlist contains 2 songs.

this is a long overdue post on aerosmith *click link*.

always loved these guys. first time i saw them was on this very bad movie called sgt. peppers lonely hearts *click link*. a beatles tribute film released 1978. it was a massively bad movie by today's standards, but the songs were beatles songs. so who cares?

that means i was about 7 when i first saw steven tyler with (my sister's observation) his uncanny ability to form a perfect square via the quintessential rock and roll sneer. i thought the song was the coolest thing i ever heard. it was my first taste of the bad boy mystique. and it was curiously delicious.

they played the FVB or future villains band, covering the song come together. beatles *click link* and aerosmith fans still argue (to this day, swear to god) about which version is better.

one of the movie's best moments i remember was sandy farina's cover version of strawberry fields (see player above). it's one of the sweetest songs-- delivered with such wistful innocence, you can't help but embed hope in your heart like there's no tomorrow.

below is a vid of steven tyler in his emo-rock genre best, i don't wanna miss a thing. ff to the 90's--he's now on the mv of a box-office hit, armageddon. et voila! now a grandaddy but still pulling all sorts of heartstrings.

my father's days

2008-06-07T23:56:00.013+08:00

taken by terry uy on my wedding day.
putting on deodorant here. (wa-poise!):P

as a kid, i always tried to run off after kissing my father's cheek. but he'd always catch my chubby arm and say it's his turn. i'd scrunch up my face to collect his kiss.

his stubbles were rather itchy against a soft kiddie cheek. then he'd imitate my expression comically to make me laugh.

2 weeks ago, he gave me that exact expression one last time and looked sadly up at me from his hospital bed.

2 years ago, he was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. he still went about his busy routine, meeting friends, various civic oriented organizations' meetings, etc. he stopped only when his aches took over his days and nights.

he was feisty to the end. some of his last lucid words to me were: "don't put that cream stuff on my face again." (i'd been putting cetaphil cream on his face to prevent his sundamaged skin from flaking and itching.)

to many of my cousins, he is papa eng. to many of them he was also a father figure; giving love and guidance liberally. unwittingly leaving a legacy of his best qualities to my cousins.

he taught me and my siblings about fairplay, responsibility, optimism, generosity of one's spirit, and integrity.

people's voices broke when they tell us he was a good man. they told us about a man whose unshakeable integrity and goodwill had touched their lives.

every hand we shook, every kind word or story, every hug (awkward or otherwise) during his wake, is testimony to the kind of goodness he inspired.

i carry with me his values, his love, and his blood. i also carry with me the responsibility to live my life in a way that would do his memory justice.

tall order. but i am his kid, no? ;)

eulogy given by my brother, dr. leonard khu:

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. In behalf of our family, please allow me to express our gratitude to all of you for the overwhelming support and sympathy you have extended to us. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we can go through. No words can express what I am feeling right now and I can only hope that time will ease the family’s pain.

Allow me to tell you some experiences I had with my father. I hope this will remind you of other things about this person who was father and friend not just to me, but many others.

A year before my father was diagnosed with prostatic cancer, we were in China for an Oro Chamber Cultural and Economic Mission. It involved meeting with Chinese government and trade officials and visiting the tourist attractions. Climbing to the top of the Great Wall is not easy, especially for someone with a heart condition like my father, but he persevered until the finish line.

It was also during this trip when I had the rare chance to see him cry. We went to his hometown in Xiamen. He showed me the house where he was born and introduced me to his remaining relatives there. We brought flowers to the cemetery where his mother was buried 60 years ago. It was raining and the cemetery was overgrown with weeds. My father and I searched and looked for my grandmother’s grave in the rain and ankle-deep mud. After searching for an hour in the blinding rain, we had to give up. We left flowers in an unmarked grave, and went home. During the trip back, I saw tears falling down his cheeks as he could not find his mother’s grave and keep his promise to himself of finally relocating it. This was how important his family was for him.

My father was a naughty 11-year old immigrant who came to the Philippines after his own mother died. He was sent by my grandfather to the town of Ampinican with his fellow immigrant Inciong where he stayed for a year before he was finally integrated into his new family in Balingasag. And integrate he did. Over the years, my titos and titas have considered my father as one of their own.

Perhaps fostering better ties between Filipinos and Chinese was his mission in life. He had devoted much of his retirement years working for the improved relationships between the Chinese and local Filipino community as evidenced by his membership and leadership in most of the city’s Tsinoy civic organizations. He strove hard to leave his beloved city a better place for everyone.

One lesson in life that he imparted to me was that one has to be fair and just to all. Maybe that’s one reason he had become the unofficial patriarch of the Khu family. He was always there to mediate on sibling squabbles, and also to act as a substitute parent during pamanhikan. He always tried to have a solution to every problem and always had his ways of making complex things simple.

He showed strength until the very end. I hope that I can continue what my father has started. Let’s just remember everything that my father shared with us and be happy that he has finally gone home to our creator.

Lastly, I would like to thank some people who took care of my father during his illness. He had a topnotch medical team. Dr. Gigi Tiro was his oncologist who took a holistic approach to his illness. Dr. Laureano Ledres, his pain specialist, helped lessen the pain coming from the cancer invading his bones. I would also like to thank Dr. Andutan and Dr. Cordovez, his urologists and Dr. Twinkle Serina his anesthesiologist; Dr. Derick Monsalud his radiation oncologist; Dr. Rene Alagadan, his cardiologist; Dr. Pagdilao his rehab doctor; Dr. Adonis Agcopra, his neurologist; Dr. Miguel de Leon for operating on his eyes and donating his own blood twice, the 2 instances he had heart surgery, in 1993 and 1996; the physical therapists of Ortho Rehab Institute and the nursing staff of CUMC.

Special mention goes to my Tita Thelma Khu-Sarmiento, the dentist, who visited my father every single night at the hospital during his month-long admission. The last but not the least is his driver Jose. He not only drove for him but was his most trusted caregiver.

As Leonardo da Vinci said, “As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well-used brings happy death”

Thank you and good day.

karmann ghia

2008-05-07T13:37:00.002+08:00

i dedicate this entry to all karmann ghia lovers in the world.

faith in the land of oz

2008-05-05T23:37:00.003+08:00

hottima is the nickname i gave faith/pet/fatima to preempt her inner hottie resurrection.

faith is one of my best friends since college. part of the 3 blind mice (nelson, pet & i never had much sense of direction...and we love travelling together).

early april of this year, pet left for australia to continue her life adventures. i miss her some kind of awful. most specially her cheesecake and truffles. heehee...she spoiled our palates for these two things!

i'm antedating this post so i can wish her a happy birthday again. ;)

hey hottima, happy birthday. remember fdc, okay? never settle.

to quote 2 of my all time favorite lines:
1-may the force be with you.
2-don't do anything i wouldn't.

see u in our virgin tour at the latest! but hope i can see you sooner.

our blind mice motto should be: you are never lost if you don't mind where you are!

all the best, hottima!

ulebmojo:est. 1995

2008-04-28T15:55:00.009+08:00

a clip from aaron sorkin's sports night (1998)
*click above name and title to see links*
here dana (felicity huffman) makes one of series' famous passionate rants.

my colleague does a little dance, all worked up and animated over a new show.

yes, it's just another fx show.
no, he is not a fresh grad.

he has been in the visual effects industry for 13 years. all these years with abs-cbn.

-------------------------------------------------

coming home from 2.5 years in singapore, i was told by everyone in postproduction industry to do freelance as they won't be able to afford me fulltime.

i laid low for a while. it was a good time to goof off a bit with pet and nels in quttlefish. i also felt the need to explore another discipline that i constantly flirt with: graphic design.

i stayed with graphic design for 3 years, 2003-2006. it is a fun discipline-- but always, always, i knew that i was in professional purgatory. my heart did not beat for it. it was not digital effects.

singapore had left me jaded, burned out, and whatever it was, i had ceased to grow. and i paid the price.

-------------------------------------------------

fast forward to 2006.

i remember my first week in ipost. they have put the "new" girl on night shift. (nights still throw me off a bit these days...i'm not 24 anymore, yeah?)

this was the week after jerome's throat operation *click here for reference entry* . i had close to a week of minimalistic hospital style sleep.

i'd work nights in q.c., take the train home to elena in malate, pack 1 to 2 boxes before i pass out to dreamland (we were moving then, too. *click here for reference entry*)

late afternoons i'd wake up, pack a little more
i am a packingnazi. i do not like boxes that rattle...
grrrrr...
do.
not.
like.

after a quick shower, it's trains going to qc again before 10 pm. after a 12 hr night of holding a mouse and a wacom pen, one's idea of heaven is simple, the holy trinity:

1-hot meal
2-a bath
3-a soft bed.

-------------------------------------------------

so last week i looked up from the magical garden/island i was doing to see my colleague all excited.

his whole career age is higher than mine. but he had a twinkle in his eye that i see on the mirror each day.

this is us. it's not dreamworks, not the ranch, but hey...this is what we do.

i got my mojo back.

yeah baby.

flipping and flopping

2008-04-22T00:33:00.010+08:00

my feet are more embarrassed than me...my toes just curled in when i took this pic.

Note to self: check flipflops to make sure they match...before reaching the office.

the mismatched flipflops i was sporting was discovered by my officemate around 3 in the afternoon. that's after lunch, after a long walk to and around shangrila mall that morning, after taking the mrt, after riding a trike, after a long coffee chat...y'know, after all the usual things you do when there isn't much going on at work...

i suppose it should've been embarrassing.

but it was stupid funny.

it also gave me an excuse to finally get a pair of chucks on sale.

strangely, on my way home, i passed by the store i bought the shoes from, and the salesgirl chased after me to tell me that the chucks she gave me were not the same size.

true enough, one was 7Male, and the other was 5 1/2 Male. what an odd day.

hee heeh eeee

5 months later--birthday sloth

2008-04-15T15:58:00.004+08:00

today is my birthday. i am on birthday leave. i'm vegging out at home. it's 4 pm and i'm still in my sleeping clothes.

hehehe... life is good.

i should be blogging about the last 5 months, maybe writing some sensible, or sensitive stuff...

butit'smabirthdayi'mallowedtoberetardedandselfindulgentuntil11:59.

ta-da.

christmas 2007:milestone moments

2008-01-07T15:32:00.011+08:00

dec. 25

0900 hrs
jerome kisses goodbye as i check into the domestic airport to make my annual holiday trip to CDO.

1100hrs
cebu pacific announces our flight is delayed to 4pm

1615hrs
all passengers on my flight are strapped inside the aircraft.

1635hrs
captain announces our flight is cancelled. we deplane. i am patient. *milestone moment!!!*

1730hrs
i get my luggage. Jerome brings me to his mom's place.

1900hrs
first christmas dinner with the garcias (sans an overseas joel). *milestone moment!!!*

dec. 26

0000 hrs
ta-dah! jelom's birthday! his first birthday as husbandman! *milestone moment!!!*

0400hrs
i fly home.

0600hrs
discovering that my luggage took a little road trip elsewhere.

0612hrs
throw a hissy fit at the cdo airport. *milestone moment!!! somebody broke my cool*

0615hrs
fill up some forms for them to trace luggage and leave.

0620hrs
i make a uturn and threaten them with title "worst airline of the year". oi. i'm a liar. *milestone moment!!! never threatened anyone before 10am before. very sad.*

dec. 28

my luggage decides to reuinite with me. the politically correct-looking suitcase had been to bacolod, the little roadwhore!

dec. 30-31

jelom joins me in cdo. we spent new year's eve in mallberry hotel watching tv and holding hands.
first new year as legal couple. *milestone moment!!!*

jan. 02

jelom buys me a phone. it comes with a free...*drumroll* ...suitcase!

true story.

Babybaby

2007-11-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

hey...big M did it, brit brit did it(okay, maybe bad example), jlo is doing it, brangie's having a party all the time about it...so okay. i'm tapping into my inner momma.

except my plumbing seems to be giving me the finger for ignoring its reproductive system all these years.

there's this cyst in my right ovary. bummer. this body is a traitor.

will get the stork's landing pad fixed. pronto.

Lazy Chicken Alexander

2007-11-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

Chicken breast fillet cubed
Cheddar cheese cubed
Ham (fiesta, country or smoked) cubed
1 can medium sized mushrooms (drained and quartered)
1 can sweet corn (whole kernel drained)
1 can Campbell’s mushroom soup
Salt

Garlic mashed potatoes

Potatoes boiled (w/ or w/o skin)
Garlic (finely chopped)
Butter
Salt
Pepper
Milk or Cream

1 envelope mushroom gravy

Boil cubed chicken breast in salt and water. Drain and cool. Add cheese, ham, corn, mushrooms, mushroom soup to chicken. Mix and arrange in a bowl or pan.

Boil potatoes until tender. Drain while still hot. Add garlic, butter, salt and pepper to taste. Add milk or cream. Mash together and top the chicken mixture.

Serve with gravy.

I like this recipe. it's hearty, but easy. You can make hundreds of variations by changing the mashed potatoes, combining and changing the cheeses and ham. It's pretty kewl for a Christmas Fridge-Velcro dish.

300 mhin

2007-10-15T14:40:00.001+08:00

surfing online for a project whose visual peg includes 300.

saw this. totally appealed to my faghag humor. enjoy.

MovieMovieMovie!!!

2007-10-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

We all love that series Sex And The City.

We swooned (a little) over Mr. Big, felt for Miranda as she struggled to lose her baby fat, giggled over Charlotte's pollyanna ways, cheered on when Samantha dealt with an issue that's both scary and real--breast cancer.

It opened many minds to the reality of being responsible for your own happiness. It was a show that celebrated women's independence, friendship, love, and life.

All these happenning around beautiful shoes, clothes, accessories, pretty girly make-up didn't hurt either. I don't recall any other show that had so many designers and labels in them. All enough to bring out the brandwhores in us all.

So now finally, they are making the movie. YAY!!!

Girlfriends, on May 30, 2008, SATC-the movie.

Domestic Divahood

2007-10-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

When you've recently acquired a spouse, in place of the normal “How are you?”, you get a: “How is married life?”

Your standard answers:

“Fine. I have a male roommate I’m training to put the toilet seat down.”

“Ok.”

“It’s a different experience.”

Pause. “Um…not bad.” Smile. “Not bad at all.”

My favorite: “I’m fine thank you. And you?”

You don’t want to risk sounding too happy or you’ll seem smug.
You don’t wan’t to show any degree of anxiety, or they’ll BE smug.
You basically have your guard up all the time.

While still adjusting to the new partnership, one needs to be careful not to drown out one’s individualism and disappear into the oblivion of being abbreviated into a single letter “s” when people address you as “Mrs. Add His Name Here”.

Seems complicated, but it’s not bad. The truth is:

Domestic divahood is fun. Love the cookware. Love the new place. Love the husband.

But life is multifaceted. We keep going.

10. THE ROLLING ST...